Leaving Las Vegas

Have you seen the movie Leaving Las Vegas? 1995, Nicholas Cage won a Best Actor Award for the role?

Well, I hated the movie. I thought it was depressing and morose with no real meaning other than it's okay to just give up, don't bother fighting, just give up.

The other day at work, some coworkers and I were discussing our favorite movies and one of the ladies said her favorite movie was Leaving Las Vegas. When I expressed how much I hated it, she was aghast, like I had said I hated puppies or something. She talked about it for days, kept bringing it up like it was some kind of character flaw of mine.

Finally about 4 or 5 days after the first time the topic was brought up, she informed me she knew why I didn't like the movie. I guess she had been discussing me and my dislike for the movie with her friends and they decided that I didn't like the movie because I had led a "charmed life." If I had ever experienced any real hardship, she informed me, I would get this movie.

At the time I just agreed with her that I had had a very good life and let it go, because I was, frankly, tired of the subject. But then later, as I thought about it, it really upset me.

First, who is she to question my life? How does she know what kind of heartache or hardship I have or have not experienced. I'm not a whiney, complain about my problems kind of person. I don't go around advertising issues I may or may not have.

Secondly, it's not luck that I've had a good life. I work hard to have the fantastic life I live.

It's true, I've never been an alcoholic or addicted to any substance. Well this isn't luck. I'm too smart to get addicted to anything. I also have too high of a moral fiber and character. No, it's not luck, it's who I am and the standards I hold myself too that caused this.

It's also true that I've never seriously considered suicide. This isn't luck either. Suicide is selfish, it's thinking only of yourself and your pain and completely disregarding any pain you might cause your loved ones by taking your own life. I am not selfish, I would never do that to my friends and family. So it's not luck that I have never been tempted by giving up.

It's true that I have never been alone and friendless. Is this luck? I think not. I am a good person, I give to others of my heart and am there for them when they need me. I inspire people to like me by simply being who I am. When I have a hard time in my life, my loved ones are there for me not because I'm lucky, but because of who I am and what I give out.

I've never been wiped out financially, that is true, but I refuse to let that be chalked up to luck. There have been things that could have devastated Dave and I financially; astronomical oral surgery bills, unexpectedly losing my job at the Comfort Inn, leaving my job at the Quality Inn, etc. The difference is, when we were flush, we saved and planned for hard times. We didn't just spend willy nilly because we had it, we put money away for a rainy day. We invested in our Roth IRA's, our Thrift Savings Plan, and our regular savings accounts.
While it could happen that something so terrible would happen that we would be destitute, it's pretty unlikely. We're well insured, we plan for any avenue that we can conceive of, and I refer back to my last point. Even if something were to happen that would wipe us out financially, we have a strong support network of friends and family who would help us out. This is not luck, this is being smart and being a good person.

It is true that I have never been in an abusive situation, but this isn't luck either. If there were a rift in the space/time continuum and Dave suddenly became a person that hits his wife, he wouldn't dare to touch me. He knows me enough to know that he might have the strength to beat me once, but he better not ever sleep again for the rest of his life. I do not allow myself to be treated that way. Period. End of conversation. That isn't luck, that's my strength of character and my extremely high self esteem.

Even when bad things do happen to me, and yes I have experienced bad things in my life, I don't let them destroy me. I pick myself up, I learn from the experience, and I move on. I try to use what I learned to help others and to improve my life and the lives of people around me.

I will admit that I have been lucky in one aspect of my life. I was born to two amazing parents that instilled in me a strong character, good work ethic, high moral fiber, and a healthy self esteem. That was luck. Everything else, Dave and I did on our own.

I refuse to let my life be regarded as a serious of lucky events. I work hard to be who I am and to live as I do. I will not have my life dismissed in that manner, I'm too damn proud of it to allow that.